Nothing Creative Today

While at the Gym today I thought about writing the following letters:

Dear Gold's Gym Member,
While I have had many conversations with various friends about how the gym should be a safe place for looking crappy while you work out, your decision to wear that stretched out tank top should be reassessed. It is covered with sweat stains, falling apart, and it freaks me out.

Thanks,
Mallory

Dear Gold's Gym,
Your advertisements for plastic surgery offend me. "When working out just isn't enough..." pisses me of to no end. Please promote health and well being. I go to the gym to be healthy, not to mold myself into an objectifiable figure for male enjoyment.

Yours,
Mallory

Dear Fox News,
I hate you. Do not for ONE SECOND think that since I was a Clinton supporter that I will suddenly become compassionate to Sarah Palin simply because I am female. Do not insult me. As an American Citizen, Feminist, and human being, she offends me on the basest level.

Cheers!
Mallory

Dear Rothko, Gottlieb and Newman,
Thank you so much for existing. Your 1943 statement has opened my eyes to a new concept. I love art and I love you.

Sincerely,
Mallory

Dear Face,
Why do you insist on breaking out right before I hang out with the boy? Because honestly. It's annoying. Please sack up.

Yours Truly,
Mallory